Meditations on dogs and similar matters


It was a classic “it’s either me or the dog!” situation. The husband’s answer (addressed to the wife, not the dog) was a politely inquisitive: “so, when are you packing your bags?”

The wife did not have anything against the dog as such. The high-spirited and unusually deep-voiced Rottweiler was her best anti-smash-and-grab and anti-hijacking protection while braving the streets of Johannesburg. But the neighbours in their non-soundproof complex rebelled. Things got so bad that not a day went by without at least one irate call in connection with the barking.

The wife did the only thing possible under the circumstances. No, she did not pack her bags. Instead, she referred all the neighbours to the husband. Staggering under the growing pile of complaints, the husband finally gave in. The dog had to go. He is now barking to his heart’s content while joyfully chasing grasshoppers and other creatures of the wild in his new home on a farm. My friends are again happy together, though the husband still refuses to smile at the neighbours when they occasionally cross paths.

The story could have had a different ending. Everyone could have lived happily together, forever, had my friends but known about this bark-control collar spotted on bidorbuy. They say that the collar can cure a dog from the barking habit in three to four weeks.

But dogs are meant to bark, someone may say.

True. Though, when it comes down to either getting rid of the dog or of the bark, the collar may sound like a good idea.

Incidentally, on this Monday October the 13th we found exactly 252 items with the word dog on bidorbuy. None of the listings had a real, live dog.  Still, dog lovers could find many books about dogs, ornaments shaped as dogs, computer-related accessories with dog images, charms, toys, and even a tapestry featuring men’s best friend.

However, the very best listing with the word “dog” in the title has nothing whatsoever to do with dogs. It is a New York style Hot Dog cart, absolutely lovely to look at and yummy to eat from.

We dare any dog to match that!